I was sitting in BARNES & NOBLE one day. As I was making notes on an index card, a thought came to me, and I immediately wrote it down. The thought became this quote:
“If another man controls the earning capacity of your man, then he’s NOT your man!”
Sisters have to ask themselves how free they really are when their men receive a paycheck from other men to feed, clothe and shelter their families. In my conversations with young brothers, they want to start their own businesses to gain economic freedom to meet their parental duties, child support payments, or just provide a better way of life for their families without having to answer to someone else’s time clock. Yet, they feel the weight of providing “security” through a “job” is preventing them from launching.
My message to the sisters is this:
If your man wants to create financial independence through enterprise, hear him out. Then, I would ask him what his motive is. What you should hear from him is that he wants to create financial independence for his family and make a contribution to his community and people. That should be the measuring stick for why your man wants to seek financial independence through entrepreneurship. There is NO such thing as a “selfish entrepreneur“.
Also, sisters must ask themselves if they’re prepared for the mental shift from “security” to “freedom”. Thomas Jefferson states that a person who chooses security over freedom deserves neither. Sure, one may be receiving “benefits” like health/dental care and bonuses. However, these “benefits” are being minimized by companies in order to reduce expenses and be competitive. Therefore, “security” is an illusion.
What I recommend for brothers (and sisters) is to be a “straddler”. If you are working a job, launch your “side hustle” and develop it until its revenue can replace your paycheck. The straddling time frame can be anywhere from 3-5 years. This will allow time to choose an industry, conduct research, develop a product or deliver a service and develop a marketing and distribution method of getting that product/service to market.
Hopefully, this blog will encourage sisters to support and encourage the men in their lives to “RUN!”, as Harriet Tubman instructed. In the movie SANKOFA, the character Nunu made it clear to Noble Ali that she would not marry nor mate with a brother who continued to “be a head man for the white man”. Her real message to Noble was, “I want us to be together, but you have to get up and get free!“
Maybe more sisters should take Nunu’s position so that we can ALL get free!
